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The Shooters are no more. Check out RADIO, TX -J.R.'s new band in Dallas.
East Coast Billiards show
Sept 2004
Howdy kids, JR here. Hector is having some problems with the INS. They cracked down hard on us last month because he didn't have a work visa, had no identification, and we hadn't fed him for about a week. Now they may deport the little coconut back to wherever the hell he came from, and it just burns me up. I mean, is this what I pay taxes for? So that Uncle Sam can deny me my inalienable right to cheap, foreign child labor? I suppose we'll have to hire some American child laborer to update the website, right? Sure, then it's all well and good.
Anyway, I just wanted to update you on The Shooters. We had a great summer playing out with our pals Icewagon Flu, and have been invited to come up and play New York city. Well, we're going to do that of course, but first we want to finish the CD that we've started working on. Why go all that way and not have something to sell to the NY crowds? So until further notice, all booking has stopped. Our next show will very likely be near the holidays, be they Christmas or some other crazy made-up holiday that your family celebrates.
So far, we've recorded STOLEN SONG, BRAND NEW OLDIE, and GIRLFRIEND. Still to come are LESLEY OUTLAW, DISPOSABLE MAN, PRETTY GIRL, and other crowd favorites, so keep yer ears on.
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July 15, 2004
Helllo- dis is HecTor, shOoters intenet webslave. Shooters sirs ask me tell you howdee, and that they mis yoo. They take big break this sumer, but will bee back in Awgust with they friend band from New York Sity called IcewaGon Floo. They will are booking many show and try to work on CD too in July. Allso, mister Stub must serve one month in state jail for PutTing Hector in washer and drier. He saye HeCtor smell not good, and I get to go four a ride in tha mashine for three hours adn the police say meester sTub must take aride with theem (haha the poleyce are funny!)
Come see the Shoosters this awgust in fRederikburg and in Wawshington DDC.!!
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May 3, 2004
Hellow is hEctor here. I rite the news for Shuoters sirs, here on internets. I may bee child labor boy from foren countrie, but I know how to make goode news for sirs in Shootr band. And the news is this- Shooters have new drummer who name is "Ogre." !!!
You are please to welcome Ogre sir into the band. Ogre is play the drums for many years now, so he have lots of practice hitting things. Hector is little worried about that since shooters sirs alwayes like to hit hecTor so much. So far, meester Ogre have been nice to HecTor, give me candy and ask say please when he want Hector to detail his big car and powerwashh his large home.
Ogre sir is big news! Come to see him hit the drums (but no hit hector, I not allowed at sHooter concerts) at Groggy and Tankhard. Seee more on Show Paje.
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March 26, 2004
Howdee- hector here, child labor internet webslave. The Shuters sirs make sad bekause meester Smack Dad Dave must leave band. SMack Dave hav big important job and asswhole boss who yell scream at smack Dad and act lik baby bekause he mad that Smac k Dad is in rock band. (I know how Smck Dad feel- Shuters sirs always yell and hitting me- haha)
Anywae, Smack Dad's wurk boss say "Smackdad- you cannot bee in band and work job too. Allso you canoot have any hobbys or interests outisde wurk. Allso, yoo cannot think about anythink but this job and you cannot have pay either or vacation or go to pee pee" But smack Dad needs job so now he must leave band. WE all sorry to see him go- he be missed.
Psss- is me Hectr. In real life, I no gonna miss smack Dad bekause he beat me worse than other Shooturs sirs he have it in for me because he try to make me dance for heem and I say NO SUR! Don' tell hem I say this to you betwene you and me, ok ok!!
We Luv the Smack dad and hope he stay happy now that he go away.
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March 3, 2004
Poor Hector the internet webslave. He, uh.. fell down some stairs. He fell down them shortly after forgetting that Stub likes his cappuccino made half-fat-decaf. Don't worry, Hector is fine. If you ask me he's sure whining a lot for a kid with only two broken ribs. It's not like he even uses his ribs to update the website, but every time we sit him in front of the computer he just whines and cries, and the neighbors keep yapping and threatening to call the police or the INS, so here I am updating the site for you. Yeah, you're welcome.
The Shooters are going back into the studio this weekend to finish what we started a couple of months ago. We're determined to have a CD for you to buy before summer. Keep your fingers crossed. Unless you broke them falling down some stairs, in which case just whine about it a lot. You know who you are.
Next weekend, Friday March 12, we're opening up for a new band called Sparticle. It's made up of the guy from Spacehog, the guy from Blind Melon, and Rene Lopez, a musical legend in his own right. It's all going down at the brand new nightclub called DC 9. More info on our Shows Page. Now if you'll excuse me, I know a certain young man who needs some good old fashioned physical therapy.
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February 16, 2004
Hector here, internnet webslave. I writ for you here on nett. I learn much from work here with Shuters sirs. LEaarn much about how office job is. I am learn to say "Mundaye again, huh?" and "how Long till Fryday?" HAHA Hector funny child labor boy!
Shootrs sirs make fly-ers for yoo to downloading. Yoo print picture to tell people about SHooTer show when sirs play songs for awdience. GOOD TIME! hahaha know what I meen.
Go print your fly-er HERE!!!
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January 27, 2004
Hector here, internet webslaave. Shootrs played fredikburg lass weekend at Bourbon Room is good show make music to like!!!! HAHAHA I make joke. But Mister Stub take his pants off but audience like it and clap clap clap. Shooters say thank you Bourbon Room and we see you again soon. No pun tended. Last week Shooters Misters give me some food bekause I look famished. Now I can type for youu THREE TIMES Fast and do mor work for Shooters misters. Maybee nex week Hector get more food can draw you picchures bye by till then!!!!!!
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January 9, 2004
We just booked two new shows in January and February. Check them out on our Shows page. We're determined that by the end of 2004, you're absolutely sick of us- what with all the replays on the radio, our faces plastered all over MTV, CMT and of course the VH-1 special "I Love the Shooters Strikes Back" planned for late summer. If you know a place where we would look good onstage, with plenty of flattering light, don't hesitate to email and phone them until they book us.
Also, Jen Holmes is our first shooter superfan. Jen has been bringing no less than five people to our shows each time she comes. For that, she's on the permanent guest list. If you can do the same, we'll make the same deal for you! **Note: this does not mean that Jen is a stalker.
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January 6, 2004
Good news! Things are really changing here at shootersite.com. We discovered the wonders of 3rd world labor. It turns out that a small child from a 3rd world country can not only be trained to update our website, but also demands only pennies a day to do so. This dramatically cuts our costs here at shootersite.com, passing the savings onto you, our loyal readers.
So with that in mind, please meet Hector, our webslave intern.
hello, my name Hector. The good respect sirs from shootr band say I am work on website. give yoo news and draw the pictures I draw the picture for yoo here is --
?see? I make the good picturs for yoo am happy work for shooters are nice boys? HAHA i am make joke hahA. Onlee one timee the Smack dad hit me with a drum that hert but am happy to make you news for you here on web.
Sign, hector the webslave
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